What's the next move?
'What's the next move' is part of the game alcoholics, addicts and gamblers play every day. Here's how the game works. The people playing the game all surround the Alcoholic or Addict at the center of the field. Some are farther away than others and family members and other loved ones are the closest to the center.
The Alcoholic / Addict / Gambler (AAG) turns around and around in the circle. People outside watch intently and place bets on what he or she will do next. Based on their opinion or experience, they predict what will happen next. They place bets on the next move using emotional pain or cash money. Then they stop and hold their breath.
The AAG just keeps spinning for a while then does whatever comes into his/her head always with a focus on relieving the increasing discomfort as quickly and effectively as possible. It's truly a cause and effect scenario, not influenced by the people or the bets.
The AAG uses their particular magical potions to relieve their pain. That's all that matters. The people in the circle outside think there is a game involved and they are players in the game. They think what they do matters in the game and they add to their bets.
The AAG is largely unaware of the game. They interact with the players in whatever moves they think will advance the action of the game. As the game speeds up a bit, it gives the AAG some cover as they make their next move to get whatever they need to stop the pain.
Because that's all they are capable of caring about... relieving the discomfort by whatever means necessary. During the course of the game the AAG slowly mutates from the original role of sane, concerned, rational family member or friend or parent and slowly evolves into a person who has elegant skills of avoidance or rationalization that allows them the means to do what they have to to stop the pain.
Let's pause the game right here. The only move that can be made in this game is STOP. That's it. The game has to stop with the AAG stopping in the most compassionate, effective way immediately. That's not the end of the game, that's the beginning of the healing for everyone playing the game.
It seems too simple. The players have been playing so hard and so well they cannot understand that the game must stop to win. They kinda miss the game and in some cases they have so much invested they secretly don't want it to end.
But for the AAG, it's a life or death game. Their only move is STOP. What does that look like? DETOX and /orbeing out of their regular world as long as humanly possible while they change back into their real selves.
The change doesn't even start for 2 or 3 weeks into the after STOP life. At that point they kinda wake up and say, "You know, I really needed to be here." They come back into their real selves enough to re-center and breathe again.
What I can do for you is help you with the Game of Stop. That is no easy job. Everyone who is in the game will be stuck in their players role and the AAG will still fear the pain and will wave their magic wand to keep getting what they know they need.
I can help you prepare yourselves to initiate the game of STOP. I can help you evaluate and locate effective, ethical resources that will support you all and stop the game. We will devise and create a plan that will be carried out. You will be successful in the Game of Stop.
Call me. Let's talk. Let's brainstorm a solution for you all. You can win this game. Simply fill in the form on this page and I'll get right back to you. It's easy.